Black Marigolds

Even now
If I see in my soul the citron-breasted fair one
Still gold-tinted, her face like our night stars,
Drawing unto her; her body beaten about with flame,
Wounded by the flaring spear of love,
My first of all by reason of her fresh years,
Then is my heart buried alive in snow.

Even now
If my girl with lotus eyes came to me again
Weary with the dear weight of young love,
Again I would give her to these starved twins of arms
And from her mouth drink down the heavy wine,
As a reeling pirate bee in fluttered ease
Steals up the honey from the nenuphar.

Even now
If I saw her lying all wide eyes
And with collyrium the indent of her cheek
Lengthened to the bright ear and her pale side
So suffering the fever of my distance,
Then would my love for her be ropes of flowers, and night
A black-haired lover on the breasts of day.

Even now
My eyes that hurry to see no more are painting, painting
Faces of my lost girl. O golden rings
That tap against cheeks of small magnolia-leaves,
O whitest so soft parchment where
My poor divorced lips have written excellent
Stanzas of kisses, and will write no more.

Even now
Death sends me the flickering of powdery lids
Over wild eyes and the pity of her slim body
All broken up with the weariness of joy;
The little red flowers of her breasts to be my comfort
Moving above scarves, and for my sorrow
Wet crimson lips that once I marked as mine.

Even now
They chatter her weakness through the two bazaars
Who was so strong to love me. And small men
That buy and sell for silver being slaves
Crinkles the fat about their eyes; and yet
No Prince of the Cities of the Sea has taken her,
Leading to his grim bed. Little lonely one,
You cling to me as a garment clings; my girl.

Even now
I love long black eyes that caress like silk,
Ever and ever sad and laughing eyes,
Whose lids make such sweet shadow when they close
It seems another beautiful look of hers.
I love a fresh mouth, ah, a scented mouth,
And curving hair, subtle as a smoke,
And light fingers, and laughter of green gems.

Even now
I remember that you made answer very softly,
We being one soul, your hand on my hair,
The burning memory rounding your near lips;
I have seen the preistesses of Rati make love at moon fall
And then in a carpeted hall with a bright gold lamp
Lie down carelessly anywhere to sleep.


Even now
I mind the coming and talking of wise men from towers
Where they had thought away their youth. And I, listening,
Found not the salt of the whispers of my girl,
Murmur of confused colours, as we lay near sleep;
Little wise words and little witty words,
Wanton as water, honied with eagerness.

Even now
I mind that I loved cypress and roses, clear,
The great blue mountains and the small grey hills,
The sounding of the sea. Upon a day
I saw strange eyes and hands like butterflies;
For me at morning larks flew from the thyme
And children came to bathe in little streams.

Even now
I know that I have savoured the hot taste of life
Lifting green cups and gold at the great feast.
Just for a small and a forgotten time
I have had full in my eyes from off my girl
The whitest pouring of eternal light ...

Quoted in 'Cannery Row' - John Steinbeck

Passion at the desk

A very interesting conversation I lately had was with Manoj. Manoj & self used to work together in the same organization till January, 2003. I have to admit that we did not socialize much then, & in the months to follow, apart from the usual pleasantries that we exchanged whenever we crossed each other. But the weekend before last, we were in Madras to attend a common friend's wedding and had an afternoon to ourselves with nothing better to do, or worse for that matter, than talk.

The conversation hovered around our own goals, both personal and professional. We discussed our weaknesses and prioritized them. And it is during this engaging session that Manoj pointed out, & I agreed almost immediately, that it is passion that one should look for while interviewing a prospective candidate.

Passion almost always guarantees quality work. It means that the employee is setting her own standards, pushing her own limits, that she sees her work as an extension of her persona.

But I think, that the picture is not all rosy. This drive sometimes is a positive handicap. It is unlikely that any organization constantly pushes a person. I am not talking about pressures in the office. Pressure, a lot of times, is just the volume of work to be done. This could act as a slow poison for driven individuals. Lots of regular work means that, for one, it gets boring and therefore it becmoes question of diligence. Add to that the lack of newer challenges and frustration could grow very fast.

So we sacrifice. And if we choose to sacrifice passion, we never had it in the first place. It is not a matter of choice; it is the only way. Passion remains a defining trait in our lives. It is what made a Jesus Christ.

Anticipation

This evanescing Friday evening
I cannot help smiling
at the thought of seeing you.

Evasion

Why this need for cloaks?
these unsure strides, the fake smile,
Why this turning away
& locking of doors?